In this post I’ll look at some of the specific pressures faced by women during the holiday season. With Thanksgiving behind us, the Holiday Season is in full swing, depicted as a time of joy, gratitude and togetherness, with glimmers of humor found in ridiculous holiday movies, my favorite, National Lampoons Christmas Vacation cited below.
“What can I say, other than, it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery .”- Ellen Griswald
While I think this was only a temporary depiction of Ellen’s, (and maybe my) feelings on the holidays, the difficulties associated are often pervasive and challenging.
With all of these glorious festivities come expectations, financial, emotional and societal pressures, particularly for women. Despite changes in the landscape of domestic partnership and marriage, according to a 2020 Pew Research Study, women still spend substantially more time on traditional housework, while men focus more on leisure activities.
This inequity likely places creating “Joy” as the primary responsibility of the female partner, with responsibilities including but not limited to organizing and prepping for family events, holiday shopping and wrapping, and maintaining holiday traditions. This work is often “invisible” and added to an already full plate can lead to feeling unappreciated, with mental health issues, such as stress anxiety and burnout.
Now let’s look at some of the specific pressures, starting with financial.
Financial Pressures
For many women, the holidays bring financial stress. Whether managing a single-income household or contributing to shared expenses, the pressure to purchase gifts, decorate, and host events can lead to anxiety. Women may feel responsible for creating a “perfect” holiday experience, even if it stretches their financial limits.
Emotional Strain and Relationship Dynamics
The holidays often amplify family dynamics, including unresolved conflicts or strained relationships. Women may feel the burden of mediating disputes or ensuring harmony, which can be emotionally taxing. Additionally, the season can highlight feelings of loneliness or grief, especially for those who have lost loved ones or are estranged from family.
Societal Expectations
While Martha Stewart has lately been spending more time with her new bestie Snoop Dog, and even disavowed cooking turkey this year, her legacy of prim perfection remains. The holiday season brings societal expectations that can impact self-esteem and mental health, such as:
• Pressure to Look Perfect: Women often face subtle or overt pressure to appear polished for gatherings, photos, or events.
• The Ideal Holiday: Media and social norms perpetuate the image of a “perfect” holiday, leaving women feeling inadequate if their reality doesn’t match.
How to Cope and Protect Your Mental Health
1. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to events or tasks that feel overwhelming. It’s okay to prioritize your well-being over meeting everyone’s expectations.
2. Delegate Responsibilities: Share the workload with family members. This can foster a sense of teamwork and reduce the burden on any one person.
3. Practice Self-Care: Set aside time for yourself, whether it’s a quiet morning walk, journaling, or indulging in a favorite hobby.
4. Communicate Openly: Express your feelings and concerns to trusted friends or family members. Seeking professional support from a counselor can also provide relief.
5. Focus on What Matters: Remember that the essence of the holidays is connection, not perfection. Let go of unrealistic expectations and embrace imperfections.
Seeking Support
If you’re finding the holiday season particularly challenging, reaching out to a mental health professional can provide valuable guidance. At Herscher Counseling Associates, we understand the unique pressures women face and offer compassionate support tailored to your needs. Whether you’re navigating stress, grief, or relationship challenges, our experienced counselors are here to help you find balance and joy during the holidays.
Final Thoughts
While the holidays can be demanding, they also offer an opportunity to focus on what truly matters: connection, gratitude, and self-care. By recognizing the challenges and taking proactive steps to care for your mental health, you can navigate the season with greater resilience and peace.